Young au-pairs in question

Written by Delphine Lemarinier

Why has this fashion returned and what are the advantages and disadvantages? Read the following.

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Why has this fashion returned and what are the advantages and disadvantages? Read the following.

The choice of a house help is at the needs and demand of the parents. Leaving their children in the hands of a stranger does not always reassure them, as their children are what they hold most precious in the world.

In addition to the worry that parents must overcome, adds the long hours and trouble of hunting for that rare pearl. Via the Internet, adverts appear from day to day.

Young au-pair or nanny: everyone has individual needs. For a few years now, having your own young au-pair has become a trendy phenomena. In London, their number grows without stop as they begin to make connections between themselves.

They come from around the world to travel or to profit from the occasion to settle themselves in the country. The reasons that push a family to employ a young au-pair or nanny are multiple, as are the motivations of the au-pair or nanny to take this position.

The work conditions of a young au-pair are not quite the same as those of a nanny. In effect, a young au-pair must be aged from 18 to 27 and come from a foreign country to learn or improve the language of the host country, by taking lessons if needs be. In addition, she is provided with accommodation and food as well as payment averaging at nearly 70 pounds a week. The payment of a nanny is higher as she must show a certain amount of experience with children.However, parents find themselves confused as a young au-pair can eventually end up working the same amount of hours as a nanny and at the same standard.

In general, the young au-pair is considered as an older sister and is seen as a part of the family as she is living at the heart of the host family. “She is really considered as a member of the family during one or two years. I don’t ask her to clean as it never works. In fact, they are not cleaners. The young au-pair only looks after the children and their washing” insists Maylis Grand, mother of four children, enthusiast of the au-pair system for 6 years now. More than often, the definition of roles is a source for confusion and misunderstandings. Certain experiences can be very negative, notably when they are treated like slaves.

Parents appreciate the flexibility and low cost of a young au-pair as well as the absence of problems of transport. Sometimes the young au-pair can take a long time to adapt to the situation, the family can also find it difficult to adapt to having the presence of a stranger in the house. Each family has their own rules given that “the position of au-pair is not regulated” comments Maylis Grand. Nevertheless, a contract can be established between the au-pair and the host family.

An enriching and unforgettable experience abroad.

To be a young au-pair “is a very enriching experience” proclaims loud and clear Justine Maillou, 18, a young au-pair for 2 months now in London. Even though the integration is difficult to begin with, the feeling of being “useful” reassures. “People are welcoming” in the capital of London, she adds. Her advice: don’t hesitate to try something adventurous. Discover a new culture, make new friends, take a gap year after college or studies, have a little independence.

There are so many reasons that are not negligible.

The young au-pairs take care to choose a family that matches them the best according to their personality and tastes. On their part, the parents must pay attention to whether their choice of au-pair is a responsible person. The options for the au-pair are numerous: positions as “live-in” or “live-out” (accommodated or not), choice of the number of children, activities she has in common, nationality of the parents.

One of the reasons a young au-pair makes the choice to come to England is to perfect her level of language. “Being part of an English family is not only interesting for the improvement of my English, but I am also discovering lots of things about the culture too” Claire Martel, 24, an au-pair in Barnes.

The immersion at the heart of the family carries its advantages and disadvantages. The young au-pairs are not sheltered from negative experiences. Limits can easily be broken by both parties due to big differences of character or even culture, a disagreement on the education of the children, rules that are not respected etc. Hence the importance of knowing what you are looking for from the beginning.

Should you use an agency?

It is not obligatory to find your au-pair or nanny through an agency. Nevertheless, certain parents do not hesitate to use an agency by means of a fee to find a person that matches them the best.

An agency takes on the task of scrupulously checking references, police records and candidates’ passports, to help the families in their search by sticking to their preferences. “We are here to do the sorting out” explains Marine Liénard, French speaking consultant at the nanny agency Little Ones.

Families choose a nanny to second the mother and maintain the level of language. “There are a lot of families in London searching for a French speaking nanny to speak in French to their children” notes Marine Liénard. As for parents who are hostile to the choice of an agency, Websites or word of mouth work just as well.

Other house helps have developed such as “Nanny Housekeeper” a nanny who also looks after the running of the house, “Mother’s Help” in which the role is to help the mother with all sorts of chores, or even “Child minder” which is a maternal assistant.

It must be known that the term au-pair has excluded men. Young male au-pairs also have a place in this job role. The famous sexist cliché is over. They are arriving in force on English ground. No matter what is said, they can look after children just as good as women. One thing is clear; being an au-pair is beneficial. It is an apprenticeship in the school of life, a real springboard for an active life.

 

Translated from French by Louisa Kilburn